The Year The World Came To An End

end of the world

There was no zombie apocalypse and I didn’t see one rouge asteroid penetrate earth’s atmosphere.   December 21 passed and the world as we know it survived intact.  Last December, I remember hearing the legend of the Mayan prediction of the end.   I jokingly said that if indeed the world would end in a year, I needed to make some serious changes in my life.  Little did I know I was making a prediction that would come true.

The first change I made after the New Year  was to go back to church-again.  I stopped going for several months and missed what I had found there.  Encouragement from the pastor and the warm welcome back by members made it easy to return.  After all when confronted with an end of the world scenario, prayer and faith seem the logical solution.

A lunch meeting with Jan early in year brought an unexpected new friendship.  Our schedules made finding a date a challenge.   We met  along with her daughter Anna and laughed our way through most of lunch.  We became fast friends.  A love of writing was one of many things we found in common.  I have written about this in several blog posts this year.  Jan and her family are now a second family for me and a gift from 2012 for which I am truly grateful.

My diet and exercise programs needed a serious boost.  I walked past the karate studio near my office many times and decided to finally check it out.  In February, I started training and I am now a blue belt.   I finally hit my goal of losing 100 pounds as the year went on.  If the world was going to end, I wanted to be healthy and strong enough to fight and make a run for it if possible.  After all, every end of the world movie has people survive who can run, jump, fight and look amazing doing it.

I love to write and wanted to find ways to improve.  I  decided to make a move from Blogger to WordPress for my blog and made it public.  I found some great challenges during the year and my blog followers and views  increased dramatically.  Connections with many new writers during the year were an added benefit.  I  attended a Writer’s workshop at Montreat in the spring and renewed my commitment to writing on a regular basis.   This fall my friend Jan and I went to Atlanta to see my favorite author Anne Lamott.  She offers great advice and encouragement for writers.

Things at home (my marriage) had been declining for some time but I made the decision to stay and do what I could.  My job was stressful but I loved my work.   Friends, family,  and writing kept me going.  However, things changed quickly in the summer.   The job I loved fell apart and I made one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make in a very long time.  After much prayer, talking with my therapist and consulting close friends, I choose to leave my job without another job in site.  I know in my heart it was the right decision.   Within weeks of leaving my job, I made another hard choice.  I left my marriage of five years.

While the world didn’t end in December, the world as I knew it ended in 2012.  2013 is a mystery.  I registered for college and will sign up for my classes on Jan. 10th.  I have no idea how that is going to work.  I am 61 and haven’t been in school for over 40 years.  I need to find a way to support myself and get health insurance without working full time and going to school.  I work only 17 hours a week and pay almost my entire income to cover COBRA for health insurance.   I fight the demons of feeling alone at times and feeling like a failure at others.  I know there are people in my world who think I have taken a walk into insanity.  There are moments when I feel very lost and unsure of what is happening.   Some days I wake up, get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and see where life leads me.

Yet, for the most part, I feel happy.  I have a sense that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  I have two amazing grown children who encourage me and support me.   Jan and Anna make me laugh, let me cry, push me, and just let me be me.  I have other friends who believe in me as well.   And, in the middle of all of this, I pray and I trust God.

A blog challenge for 2013 is find one word to focus on through the coming year and incorporate that into your writing.  I have several words that seem appropriate but the one word that keeps coming through is trust. It isn’t something that comes naturally for me.  I learned a tremendous amount about trust in 2012; some of it bad and much of it good.  I am going to embrace the challenge and put trust into my daily life- trust in God, my friends, my family and in myself.   I survived end of the world in 2012 so welcome 2013. Let’s see what you have in store!

Happy New Year!!

21 responses

  1. I don’t know what makes people get up when they have fallen. I don’t know what makes people bounce back from what ever happened. I don’t know what makes us go on when it hurts to go on. I just know we have it. WE have it. It’s in our being, our soul our make up. It’s in US big sister. So—-what ever happens, what ever you decide to do like college at the ripe old age of 61 or get divorced and move on or quit you job with no prospect of another (what the hell were you thinking LOL)——-WE HAVE IT. Its there you know it and you WILL
    make it. Love ya kiddo. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

    1. Thanks Mike. Love you too.

      Like

  2. ” I fight the demons of feeling alone at times and feeling like a failure at others. I know there are people in my world who think I have taken a walk into insanity. There are moments when I feel very lost and unsure of what is happening. Some days I wake up, get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and see where life leads me.”

    This was an inspiring read. It pays to know that thoughts like these do cross people’s minds, no matter what age or race. For you to put it out there for all of us to hear is just empowering. Thanks for sharing your story, Cathy.

    Like

    1. Reading and hearing other people share their challenges and successes keep me going some days. It is good to know we are never truly alone.

      Like

  3. Happy New Year Cathy! I am glad we “met” in 2012 and I am looking forward to what ever the new year holds for us both!

    Like

  4. I made the move from blogger to wordpress in 2012 too! Congratulations on doing what is best for you, even though it was a tough decision(s).

    Like

  5. This is a very inspiring post!!! Thank you! It makes me want to be able to write a post like this at the beginning of 2014! But I also know that “wanting” is not the same as “doing.” So good for you “DOING”!!! :}

    Like

    1. I look forward to reading you post in 2014. 🙂

      Like

  6. Hi Cathy: I wish you well in returning to school. I know you will be okay and use all your great life and writing skills to manage well. Much love, Tanya

    Like

  7. “Some days I wake up, get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and see where life leads me.”
    Seems like a pretty good way to start any day!
    I’m so glad we connected at Montreat after I randomly found your blog. As someone once told me, we meet often in prayer. Good luck, Cathy. Your courage and honesty help me so much.

    Like

    1. Thanks Robin. I decided not to the retreat at Montreat this year. 🙂 I would love to find another to attend this year!! Yes, love that we connected the way we did.

      Like

  8. This may sound odd from a guy who writes a horror film blog; but I know that I need to go back to church.

    Like

    1. Not odd at all!!!

      Like

  9. What changes have come, and your response to them, in amazing. You are truly exhibiting “Trust”. I think it is a good word for you. 🙂

    Like

  10. My word for the year is “build”. Asa writer I plan to build my portfolio and my platform. As a perennial dieter, I plan to build strength and endurance (and hope the weight disappears in the process).
    Here’s to a New Year and building new possibilities!

    Like

    1. I like the word build combined with possibilities.

      Like

  11. Your 2012 sounds a lot like mine! So much difficult change. I keep telling myself ‘when one door closes… another opens’ so I am determined to make 2013 a year of opportunity. I found your blog through Twitter/Ultimate Blog Challenge and I am so glad I did =) Happy New Year!

    Like

  12. First off I want to say awesome blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing. I’ve had
    difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.

    I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first
    10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any suggestions or tips? Appreciate it!

    Like

    1. You gave me an idea for a blog post so I answered your question here.

      Thanks for the comment!

      Like

  13. […] I ask for”, because 2013 brought many lessons about trust.  As I began this post, I read the post for New Year’s 2013. This is what I […]

    Like

What did you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: