Walking the Maze

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A blog post by Tamara called, “Which Daily Task Takes Up Most of Your Energy?”   You can find the link here:  http://faithandsubstance.blogspot.com/2013/01/which-daily-tasks-take-up-most-of-your.html

I had to think about that question for quite a while.  Six months ago I would have answered the question without hesitation.  It would have been a tie between my job and my home life.   They consumed most of my time and energy leaving little for me or anyone else.  When I did manage to pull away from the two and do something that sustained me instead of draining  me, I felt guilty.   Yes, I understand feeling guilty is a choice, but it is difficult to break old patterns.

I have shared the changes in my life in my blog posts.  In September, I left my job and in October I moved into a new living situation apart from my marriage.  My answer to the question is much more difficult now.  I no longer have the challenges I faced while married.   I do work part time but I do my work and walk away when my hours are complete.  I knew my job was a huge part of my identity but did not realize how difficult it would be to define my life apart from it.

Since I was 18 years old, I have always taken care of someone and worked.  Now I only have to take care of me.  It isn’t as easy as it seems.  So to the question at hand, my answer would have to be that trying to figure out my new normal is taking most of my energy.  I often wake up and realize that I have no place I HAVE to be.  I have so many choices each day.  It reminds of the corn maze I walked this fall.   There were so many different paths and turns.  Some led to dead ends while other led to another challenge or reward.

I will start college classes in another week.  I may revisit this question then.  I imagine the answer will be quite different.  Until then, I will keep taking things a day at a time.   I am rather enjoying this life maze  I find myself in at the moment.  I am also very grateful that some of you are walking it with me.

Tamara, Thanks for the prompt for today.

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3 responses

  1. You’re welcome! I’m happy that something I wrote inspired you as you have inspired me! And I’m looking forward to reading more on your journey through this maze of life. 🙂

    Like

  2. Could be worse, huh? Read any good books?
    Have you read Wild by Cheryl Strayed? Great metaphor for your adventure.
    I wish you fun without guilt.

    Like

  3. No where to go —and all day to get there—- not to bad.

    Like

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