Big Toothed, Wart Covered, Fire Breathing Monster

I am a writer. If you follow my blog you know most of my posts are about my life.  You might also know that I have an overactive and creative imagination.  It is a tremendous asset for writing but a curse in living life.  I have written about fear and worry in posts and shared it on my Facebook status from time to time.  In a recent Facebook status I posted about fear, comments ranged from “fear is from God” and “fear separates you from God.”   Those seem to be diametrically opposing statements, so  I will follow the sage advice of another comment, “Maybe you should make up your own mind, just saying.”

I was reading the devotional book, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young this morning.  She was talking about worry and anxiety.  She said that in time we become, “god of our fantasies.”   That statement sent my mind into a whirlwind of activity.  I knew exactly what she meant.  Instead of looking at life situations by accepting the facts as they are and then praying for strength and wisdom, I look at the situation and recreate it in an Alice in Wonderland kind of existence.  Let me give you an example.

I get a flat tire.  I pull off the road.   I can’t change the tire myself.  I am going to have to call someone.  What if no one is home or can’t come?  I could be sitting here for hours.  I am going to miss my appointment in any case.  I can’t afford a new tire and they will probably tell me I have to replace two of them or the car will be out of alignment.   The spare tire is probably one of those doughnut tires, and I can’t drive long on that.  I won’t be able to get to work and will make everyone angry.  I will probably lose my job because of this.   What if someone comes along and tries to rob me while I am waiting for help?  What if someone comes to help me and the doughnut tire is flat? I am sure a big-toothed, wart covered, fire breathing monster will come and eat me.

That fantasy can keep going if I let it.  The fact is I have a road service plan that will come and change my tire or tow the car if necessary.  Yes,  I may have to buy a tire but many times it can be patched with little or no charge.   But I can’t think of those logical, rational solutions because I am fighting off monsters.

I am not exaggerating my fantasy fear life.  At least that is how it used to be.  I have learned a lot about letting go and trusting God.  No, God isn’t going to magically fix the tire, but prayer does help me chase the monster away and deal with the reality in front of me.   I am dealing with some difficult situations in my life. I occasionally find myself drifting into that fantasy thinking.  When that happens I share those thoughts with a trusted friend or family member.  I ask God to help me stay in today and not wander into the deep, dark, scary woods.  I pray the prayer of the fictional Father Tim, “God, remove the spirit of fear from me.” I remove myself as the god and creator of my fantasies.

I don’t plan on giving up creative and imaginative thinking.  I am a writer after all.  If you come across some villains or ferocious creatures in my stories, be assured they are not real.  When I come across challenges and fearful things in my life, no matter how real, I don’t have to turn them into monsters or evil beasts to be slain.  I will remember that God has promised a “happily ever after ending” to my life, and that is not a fantasy.