The challenge for Yeah Write today was to write a “list” post. I haven’t done one in a while and typically someone provides the list for the post. I debated for a while and decided to create a list of some things that have been on my mind recently. So here are five things I really want to accomplish, but I’m not sure how or if I can. #1. College Degree I recently started attending college. I have completed 12 credit hours. I have a long way to go. I can only attend part time since I still need to work part time. I left my full time job to make an attempt at this lifelong dream. Academically I am doing very well, however life has been throwing curve balls my way making it difficult to know what to do next. People often ask me why I am going back to school at my age and what I plan to do with a college education. I try to answer honestly and tell them I have no idea what I will do my degree but I am pursuing it because it is what I truly want to be doing. I love school-more than I have loved any job or other activity I have chosen to pursue. Money is the one thing standing in my way. Of course, without a full time job, I have not benefits such as health insurance. Some people suggest student loans and financial aid. There are many reasons I don’t qualify for either of those right now. I may be able to apply for those later. For now, I will continue to follow this path and see where it will lead. Oh, and I pray…a lot. #2. Actress No, I don’t expect to be in New York on Broadway, however, it might be fun. My dream for acting only takes me as far as a local theater in my community or at college. I have had to play many roles in my life to survive and I have played them well. Yet, the idea of playing a character on stage is thrilling. I envision myself as Miss Hannigan in Annie or as one of the sisters in Arsenic and Old Lace. I took an acting class last semester and fell even more in love with the idea. It will take going to many auditions and a lot of time if I get a part. School and a part time job along with rehearsals and performances may be too much. So, I will continue to pursue this dream. Oh, and I pray…a lot. #3. Size 14 I have struggled with weight most of life. I was overweight as a child and a young teenager. I gain a tremendous amount of weight with the birth of each of my children. I have lost weight in the past but never reached my target goals. Injuries, illnesses, or life got in the way each time until I reached almost 300 pounds about 3 years ago. I have been working hard to get the weight off but again injuries, illness and life keep interfering. However, I won’t give up. I keep working towards the goal. Oh, and I pray…a lot. # 4. Financial Independence I have had some brief times of independence with money but it has not been a shining example of success in my life. I have made huge mistakes in my life, some due to being undiagnosed bipolar disorder. For the past ten years, I have done well and managed to save money. Then I made the mistake of getting married. Yet in spite of that major error in judgment, I managed to preserve my finances to some degree. I am at a place in life at this time where money is a huge issue and concern. I have faith that I am doing what I need to do and will keep working toward this goal. Oh, and I pray… a lot. #5. Faith
I, as many people I imagine, have had struggles with faith. I was raised by people who presented faith and God in way that was confusing and well, downright wrong. I have followed many different paths to God. I have never lost faith but I have never really had the kind of relationship I truly want with God. Some may sneer and say, “Whose fault is that?” and then some rather tired and worn out clichés. I am back in church, I follow a twelve step program and continually work the 11th step, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.” Oh and I pray…a lot.