Rambling Post To Get Unstuck

I am stuck! I mentioned that in a recent facebook status update. I mentioned that I was not posting to the blog that day because I was stuck. A friend suggested I write about being stuck and my plan to get unstuck. Great idea except I don’t know what it will take to get unstuck.  Writing professionals and teachers tell you to just keep writing and eventually you will find you way back.  So, I am going to give it a shot.

I seem to be stuck in my life as well.  I have made huge changes over the past couple of months.  A divorce and leaving the place I had worked for many years has offered new experiences and new opportunities.  I get excited and then confused about all the choices.  When I don’t know what to do, I often do nothing.

In recovery we talk about doing the next right thing and doing the foot work and see where God leads.  There are also a lot of slogans we throw at these problems.  “Let Go and Let God”, “Willingness is the Key”, “More will be Revealed.”   I learned that each slogan offers a solution.  They take on different meanings at different times.  I am not sure what they mean in my life today.

I am happy and excited about my life. I am looking forward to Christmas more this year than I have for the past few years.   I am also feeling lost.  I have incredible support with family and friends, but I feel very alone.   That is the part I am not talking about.  So I am sharing it with you today.  Please don’t tell anyone else.

I can see I have confused you.   “How can you have wonderful family and friends and great support, yet say you feel alone?” you ask.  You see, I thought at 60 something years old  I would be settled down.  I thought I would have my own home and a husband I loved and cherished to share my life.  I thought I would be financially secure and able to enjoy retirement.  I thought I might be a published author. I imagined Thanksgivings and Christmas in my home with all the kids and grands.  I guess I bought the whole fairy tale ending thing.

Instead I have a bedroom in my daughter’s home.  I am what is considered a “single.”   My kids are grown with their own core family. I have only one friend who is also a “single.”  She became a widow a couple of years ago.  We talk about being the proverbial “third wheel.”  I am not published because I haven’t finished writing even one book.   I am far from being financially secure.  My fairy tale ending is “stayed tuned for the next adventure.”

Our family don’t do the traditional Thanksgiving.  Everyone does their own thing that day for a variety of reasons. Like many families, the holidays are spent dividing time with different families and kids going between their divorced parents.   Christmas gets a bit confusing.  My grandson is with his father on Christmas eve.  My daughter’s home is host to her father’s side of the family on Christmas eve. Since I live with her this year, I will be finding other activities for the day.   Christmas morning I share with my daughter’s family and Christmas afternoon my son’s family comes to join us.

Let me clarify that I love my kids, grandkids, and friends.  None of them have ever made me feel unwelcome or like an outsider.  They open their hearts and homes to me.  Yet, I still feel that small twinge of loneliness at times.  The holidays seem to put a magnifying glass on that twinge.  And that twinge seems to scream and tell me I am less than, I am not worthy, I am a failure.

This is not the blog post I wanted to write.  I don’t want to admit any of this to you.  But it is what is in my heart and head.  It is what is keeping me stuck.  I am following my friend’s suggestion and writing about my stuckness.  (Yes, I realize that is not an actual word.)  It isn’t a great plan to get unstuck, but it is all I have for right now.

Have you been stuck in life or your writing?  What have you done to get past it?


12 responses

  1. I have been there so many times. What I found helped me was to set a specific time for me to write. Currently, I work on my novels on Mondays at noon during my lunch hour. I work on my blogs on Wednesday during my lunch hour and editing is on Fridays during my lunch hour. I don’t get much done but at least I am writing. I have missed a few days but flexibility and accountability need to be a part of goal setting.

    Also try doing some research on a favorite topic. It doesn’t have to be related to your writing. It just needs to be something you want to know more about. I find this gets my creativity flowing again. Good luck and best wishes!


  2. Stuck? Oh yes. I understand stuck. This is something that I feel God has been dealing with me about a lot lately. It’s all tangled up in my fears, my dreams, and my walk with God. Frankly, I am a mess. So, yeah I get it. The good news is, even if it doesn’t seem like it, this will pass. It has too, right??

    On a side note, I love your “I love my voice” pic in the top right of the page. Can I borrow it? I think I have something to say on the subject. It inspired me.


    1. Of course. Feel free to use pic!!


      1. Thanks! I will let you know when I have worked out the details!


  3. I admire your honesty, Cathy. Maybe telling the truth in your own voice is all it takes to get unstuck. You’ve inspired me to write some more. Thank you.


    1. I can’t wait to read it. I am so behind on my blog reading. I need to catch up on yours!


  4. I think maybe you should cut yourself a little break. You just had a major upheaval, moving, etc. and now it’s the holidays. Cathy, what fills you up spiritually? If you can put your finger on the answer, follow that thought and give yourself some time. It will be all right. xo Joanne


  5. We all get stuck sometimes. I find just going for a long walk can sometimes help. Change is good but it is exhausting! Good luck!


  6. Cathy, it sounds to me like you’re on the path to being “unstuck.” I feel very stuck with my relationship with my sister at the moment because we’ve been having problems that I quite frankly can’t fix. I guess I have to trust that she’ll come to her senses sooner or later, and I’ve made my apology overture, but other than that I can’t fix it. As for my writing, when I’m stuck, I have to just put the story/poem/whatever away and give it time by itself. If I try to force my writing, it doesn’t work and I end up hating what I’ve written. I can understand being happy and yet not at the same time. It’s been happening to me a lot lately. Have a wonderful holiday if I don’t get back to read in the next couple of weeks!


    1. Thanks so much! Have a great holiday!


  7. Cathy, I finally wrote my post using your picture. I hope you will stop by and read it when you have time.


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