Breathing Room

I am part of a women’s life coaching group called “Your Possible Life” group.  Dr. Kathy Murphy leads the group and I have loved working with her.  Check our her site for retreats and her book.   She constantly reminds us to “BREATHE.”   We had lunch together a few weeks ago and during our time together, she had to remind me a couple of times.   It seems we get so caught up in the emotions, the fear, the thoughts, and all the chaos in our mind that we forget to stop long enough to hear the wise, caring, and loving voice.  It is there if we can just stop long enough to hear it.  Believing it is a whole other story.

I haven’t had much time to breathe over the past several months.  My husband’s health is taking a toll on both of us.  I am responsible for everything in our household from paying bills to making sure he gets to doctor’s appointments.  I have made some tough, but necessary decisions about taking care of myself.  I have to work to push the guilt aside but it is a useless emotion.

I have also been struggling with a life changing decision about my job.  I haven’t been able to share this news in my blog until now.   In mid July I resigned from my job.  My last day will be  August 31. I have been doing this for almost 12 years and it was one of the most difficult decisions I have made.  I know I made the right decision but it seems a  somewhat illogical decision to many people.   I went back to see my therapist before I made the final decision.  She has taught me to be logical and not base decisions on just emotions.  I was sure she would talk me out of this.  But NO, she encouraged my decision.   I told her it wasn’t logical.  She laughed and said that for most people it probably wasn’t.

I stepped out on faith, believing in my heart that this is the path I am to walk at this time in my life.  I was offered a part time position that is a great fit for me and I will still be working with many of the people I enjoy.  I have the opportunity to take a Life Coaching certification course beginning in Oct.  I really have no idea where I am heading, but I am OK with that today.

I have an amazing support system in place.  My family (My kids and grands) are a source of strength and joy in my life.   Jan and I are going to do the Couch to 5K program.  She has been my voice of reason on the days I look in the mirror  and ask myself, “what the  *** are you thinking?”   You can read her blog here. The people I have been working with these past 12 years are very  encouraging and supportive.

Tonight I get on the train and head to New York for a couple of days with my brother Billy.  We are going to have a couple of days to relax, talk and have some fun.  Then I am off to Danby, Vt to spend time with Donna.  We have been friends for 25 years now and have seen each other at the some of the highest and lowest points in our lives.   We are going to play and get reconnected.

I am officially taking time today to start breathing.  You may see posts over the next few months that go from calm and excited about the journey to “OMG-HELP!”   However, for the next week be looking for some posts about fun, relaxing, travel, and friends (some I am visiting and some I am missing).    And if you see me starting to turn a bit blue from time to time, please remind me to just  BREATHE.