Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
– Mark Twain
Change always seems to be represented by the story of the butterfly or the frog. I am not sure which one I am turning into right now. Please know that I understand the concept of change being empowering and necessary for growth. I also know that change can bring amazing things into our lives. Some changes are our own choice, while others are thrust upon us. You can’t wake up in the morning without something changing. It is a fact of being alive.
I have been through major life changes many times. Moving, divorce, changing jobs, relationships, deaths, marriages, children, bankruptcy, changing life habits, and I am sure you can add more; some more than once. Working on a crisis line for years gave me the opportunity to see the many ways people deal with change. I have worked with two amazing therapists and change was not a subject I liked. Control is something I understand much better.
I shared a bit about a trip I am taking next week. This trip comes in the middle of some huge life changes for me. I will tell you more about those soon. I bounce back and forth between believing that this trip is going to be life changing itself and give me some space to regroup before facing the changes to come, and thinking that I should stay home and deal with the reality at hand. I have friends and family who have personally committed to being sure I am on that train.
I know that spending time with a brother that I haven’t had the opportunity to spend much time with is going to give me insight and perspective. I can talk to him about anything. I will spend the rest of the trip with a friend I haven’t spent time with in over three years. We shared a mutual friend that died three years ago. Being with her without our friend will be a change, but I know the time is going to bring some more healing to my life.
When I come home, things will begin to happen very quickly. There is no question things will change, but I have no idea what that is going to look like. I am literally going to be turning my life inside out. Maybe the inside out version is going to be beautiful and amazing or maybe not.
What I know is that whatever happens, I am going to be OK. Am I scared? Absolutely. Am I sad? Yes. Am I excited? Sometimes. I have a couple of amazing people in my life who don’t care what my life looks like on the outside. They know the real me and know the changes I am facing. I am holding on to my faith that God has been and is still with me in the middle of this choreography of change.
I want to tell you more about my brother and friend before I leave on the trip. I will post those stories in the next couple of days. Next week, I will be able to share some of the changes that are happening. I am excited to have your join me over the next couple of weeks.
What changes have had the most impact on your life? How did you handle them?