I just signed up to take part in the 30 Day Letter Challenge. I am borrowing the idea of using this to coincide with the UBC. The idea is simple. Write a letter every day to the person identified in the prompt. The list is an interesting one. One day challenges you to write a letter to your dreams. The first letter prompt is to write to your best friend. Tomorrow we tackle a letter to “Your Crush.” That should be interesting.
I have written about you in several blogs including this one. I think all of my readers know something about you and our friendship by now. However, this letter is supposed to be written to you and not about you. Still, it may seem a bit redundant to my faithful blog readers. I do have faithful blog readers, don’t I?
I told you once that I thought you didn’t like me when we first met. Yes, I am often still very insecure despite working with two amazing therapists over the years. I think we both agreed, it had more to do with my return to church for the first time in many years than it did with you. I visited several churches over the months before coming to our church and felt that way about most people I met. I still struggle with accepting that God loves me. In fact, I have had many days when I wondered if God liked me. You have helped me understand so much about that.
After some time, I got to know you as Jan instead of Pastor Jan. We discovered we both had a love of writing and that began our conversations. We talked and learned more about each other. I felt safe sharing the stories of my life with you. I loved hearing about your family, your journey to becoming a pastor, and your other life adventures. I do think we might have written a book or two by now in our text messages.
You know that trust is very difficult for me. I was surprised at how easily I trusted you. I have shared some of my best and worst memories of life with you. We have some similar life experiences and still find those interesting little things we have in common. I love that we both HATE mayonnaise. It is a silly thing but I love it anyway. I feel like we have been friends much longer than we have. I know we both have a safe space for meltdowns and bad days.
I love that we can just hang out. We don’t need elaborate plans or designs. We can be in the same space doing something entirely different and still be comfortable. We never seem to run out of things to talk about, but when it does happen on occasion, it is just as comfortable. I love the times we can actually have grown up time but I also love your kids (the big one and the little ones.)
I refuse to let myself think about you ever moving away from here. If that happens, I will hate it. I do know that if you have to go, it will be for something that you need to do for your life. I will support you and love you in any decision you ever make. I will still hate it, however I know how to text, call, and visit. Remember these is a “no more than four hour rule.”
Let me end this letter by saying I love you with all my heart. I cherish our friendship. Thank you for being you and letting me know “Simply Jan.”
Love and hugs
Cathy and “G”