Besties

Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley (or is it Hermione)

 Laverne and Shirley

Millhouse and Bart

 Andy and Barney

 Penny and Amy Farrah Fowler

 Besties, BFF’s, Best Bud, Sister from another Mister, Best friend-Do you recognize all the pairs in my list?  I am sure you could add more.   As a Big Bang fan, I have watched the progression of the friendship between Penny and Amy.  It is an odd combination.  Penny is the bubbly, blonde waitress, wanna-be actress who seems to have a reasonable collection of girlfriends, while Amy is the overachiever, genius scientist who has never had a girlfriend.   Even though Penny has many friends, she didn’t have a true friend until Amy. Watching them learn about each other and define the parameters of their friendship has been interesting.

If you read my blogs or know me, you have discovered that my home life wasn’t one that was conducive to finding lasting friendships. I was blessed to have one friend growing up.  Carol and I have been friends since first grade.  We talk once a week to catch up on life.  We have history and that bonds us.

I married at 18 years old and during that 17-year marriage, I didn’t have friends.  I didn’t fit in with the ladies at church and that was my only social outlet.  My children were my life and every bit of energy and determination went into giving them everything I never had.   Living with undiagnosed clinical depression, PTSD, and anxiety disorders took a toll.  In time, I escaped into alcohol and drugs.

When I got sober, life changed.  Friends became a part of my life and one that I cherished.   Jan and Donna were best friends.  While I enjoyed other friendships, these two women were my besties.  When I had to move to another state, I was so afraid of losing them.  But, I discovered that true friendship isn’t lost because of distance.

It took some time but once I settled into my new home. I made friends again and found two more best friends.  When I chose to leave an abusive marriage, I left the state in secret and wasn’t able to tell Jess and Cathy.  I discovered again that this kind of friendship doesn’t falter under any circumstances. That marriage did change me and I fell back into a self-protective, isolating existence.

My best friends were in my life but they all lived hours away. Phone calls, emails, and short visits kept them intact. I had one friend in my new home, but her demanding schedule and constant travel made it a challenge.   Jan was my closest and best of the besties, but when she died suddenly in March, 2008 everything changed.  I shared the story in several blogs including this one.   I kept everyone at a distance and was determined never to let anyone get close again.

I have learned that sometimes God steps in and gives me a little push when I am being stubborn and hardheaded.  I know it comes as a surprise that I could act in such a way.  Early this year a strange friendship started to develop.  On the outside, it seems like a very odd combination but we have discovered many interesting life connections.  We love many of the same things and share similar philosophies about life.  We also share our faith in God who provides and teaches us about unconditional love.  She comes complete with two younger children that offer the perfect opportunity for playing and seeing Disney movies. Her “adult” daughter is part of the equation and a strong friendship has developed with her as well.

She is the one I can laugh with over things no one else gets, we have the “look” that says I understand, and we share the good, bad, exciting, and crazy. We can talk for hours; however, I learned that staying up until 2am might be a bit much at my age.  We intuitively know when something is wrong.  We can talk about things like shaving legs, money, movies, family, and things not talked about in proper company.  I see something or hear something and know I have to share it with her.   She is writer and she has encouraged and supported my dream.  I spend enough time with her family that I feel like family.  We have met some of each other’s family members and that is a true test of friendship.  J

I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t want this, and I fought it.  Now I can’t imagine my life without it.  God often has a way of seeing what we need and leading us to it.  I am so grateful for the gift of this friendship.  I am blessed to call her “friend.’

We both love the musical Wicked and one song “For Good” says it best.

YOU’LL BE WITH ME

LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART

AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END

I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE

BY BEING MY FRIEND…

5 responses

  1. You must be a really good friend because keeps giving you BFF’s.
    This is great, Cathy.

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  2. Ditto, my friend! And just know, it takes a brave, brave woman to befriend a pastor and her entire crew! Love you LOTS! We all do!

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    1. You are a pastor? Is that why you hang out at the church all the time? Oh wait…You are the one that preaches all those sermons. I remember now. I don’t see Pastor Jan…I see simply jan. 🙂

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  3. Cathy you have a wonderful friend in simplyjan. She is a special person to many…..You and Jan certainly write great blogs….

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  4. […] have written about you in several blogs including this one.   I think all of my readers know something about you and our friendship by now. However, this […]

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