A few days ago, I posted a blog Do You Believe in Monsters. The next day I reposted a follow up blog written by my friend Jan at “simplyjan”. The subject matter took me to a dark place, but Jan’s blog and the response of several others reminded me that I don’t have to battle the monsters alone anymore.
Last night found me back in a place emotionally I didn’t want to be. Once again, a couple of friends reached out to support me. I had trouble sleeping and woke up during the night. I decided to go into my office for a while. I reached for a scrapbook I made after the death of my friend and a letter fell out of the sleeve. I picked it up and opened it. The words of that letter spoke a message of comfort that were intended for another time in my life but spoke to me none the less.
I journaled for a short time and just as I finished, I saw an email pop up. It was from another friend and she was sending me an angel. It was the kind of email you typically pass on. She put a personal note on the end that said, “I don’t usually send these things, but just felt you needed an angel tonight.” I felt overwhelmed with peace and went back to bed.
Today I have been thinking about the angels in my life. They have come at various times throughout my life when I needed them most. They don’t look like the glowing, pure, golden haired, winged being you so often see in pictures. They look like everyday people. Some don’t look very angelic at all.
I went to lunch today with a friend, her daughter (who will be upset if I do not tell you that she is also my friend) and her two younger children. As we sat around the table eating, telling stories, and laughing, I knew this was a rather strange group of angels in my life.
I thought about my daughter and son and my incredible grandchildren. While my daughter and son will disagree with me at times, these precious children are also my angels. My son and daughter are too, but you have to give the grandchildren top billing.
I thought of the friend who wrote the letter and others who have passed away. I thought a family who helped me through a troubled childhood. I was reminded of a teacher in high school who took an interest in me and encouraged me. I remembered a woman at seminary who helped me open my mind and heart. My list grew as the afternoon went on.
Yes, I still believe in monsters, but I also believe in angels.
“So what are we supposed to do again, when we hate everything?
You stop pretending life is such fun or makes sense. It’s often messy and cruel and dull, and we do the best we can. It’s unfair, and jerks seem to win. But you fall in love with a few people. Like I love you, Elizabeth. You’re the angel God sent me.”
― Anne Lamott