A Gift to Give Away


I have been thinking about what to write for the YeahWrite blog this week.  April 11,  I celebrate 25 years being clean and sober.  I am sober today “through the Grace of God and the program and fellowship of my twelve step program.” It is a day of mixed emotions-gratitude for a second chance at life, love for family and friends, a sense of peace and serenity, and grieving the loss of friends not here to celebrate these things.

I thought I would write a beautiful, touching, inspirational blog.  Those never come out quite the way you imagine.  About ten years ago, I wrote a poem; something I rarely do.  I submitted it to a recovery journal and they published it that April.  I decided to simply share that with you today.

A Gift to Give Away

I came to you with head held low.

I came to you no place to go.

I came to you when I had no hope.

I came to you when I couldn’t  cope.

I came to you with fear and pain.

I came to you not sure I was sane.

I came when all I could do was cry.

I came to you when I wanted to die.

You looked at me and at once I knew

That what you said to me was true.

You knew the fear I had inside

You knew how much I wanted to hide.

You told me I would be OK.

You told me to live just for today.

You said there was a lot to do

But you would help me see it through.

I had to find a power greater than me

If I wanted to learn to live and be free.

I did not always do it right

But I kept trying with all my might.

One day I laughed and then I found

I really rather liked the sound.

I loved the thought of being alive

And knew somehow I could survive.

You told me that now I had to share,

I had to start to love and care.

I had to share this peace I knew

And let others know they could find it, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She came to me with eyes that were dead.

“This will not work for me” she said.

I smiled and said “just give it try”

She looked at me and asked me “why?”

Because I once felt the same as you

And I know what you are going through.

I was given a gift to give away

And so I give it to you today.

Do with this gift whatever you choose,

Take a chance, what have you got to lose?

29 responses

  1. I remember the time, on a rainy Friday evening, when you gave the gift away by taking me to my first meeting in Severna Park. I did not want to be there and you understood. More than 24 years later, I am still so grateful that you took the steps before me and paved the way for me to show up. Thank you my friend for the years of love and support. You are loved and appreciated always. Donna

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  2. Love you too. I don’t who was more afraid that night. Jan told me you didn’t want to go. I saw you and thought, “I am taking this woman into the basement of the church with a bunch of recovering alcoholics. She looks like she belongs in corporate board room.” LOL

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  3. A beautiful reminder that sometimes, we go through hardships so that we can become connected with others through shared experiences.

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    1. It is all about our interconnectedness. 🙂

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  4. Beautiful poem. Congratulations on 25 years of sobriety.

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    1. Thanks so much.

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  5. glenna mcmillan | Reply

    Thank you for your poem and sharing it with us.blessing,in gaith and gratitude,glenna

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  6. Thanks for sharing…just beautiful!

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  7. beautiful!! and SUPER HUGE CONGRATS!!!!!!

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    1. Thank you Christina

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  8. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your beautiful poem.

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  9. This gave me the chills. Beautiful poem. And 25 years is wonderful.

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  10. Lovely post, beautiful poem that deserves to see the light of day again. Congratulations on 25 years! I hope someone got you a cake. Or at least a cupcake.

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  11. Aw, how sinceere. Congrats on 25 years! That’s HUGE.

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  12. Very touching poem. Congrats on your 25 years, that is quite an accomplishment!

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  13. Beauiful! Congratulations and here’ to another 25!

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  14. Congratulations on your sobriety! This poem is amazing, thank you for sharing it.

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  15. Beautiful. Congrats on 25 years! I don’t need to tell you how awesome that is…but it is!

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  16. congratulations! i feel lucky to read this here with you!

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  17. I am so incredibly proud and happy for you, and I love the woman you have become. Let’s celebrate. Hmm, what should we do. I know! ROAD TRIP!

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  18. Congratulations on 25 years! Thank you for sharing your beautiful, beautiful words.

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  19. Wow, 25 years is a really long time and a great achievement. Congratulations.

    But also congratulations on an astounding and honest poem. Thank you for sharing.

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  20. What an amazing poem, and what an amazing victory for you to be sober for so many years. Awesome!

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  21. A couple of long ago musician friends of my mine were alcoholics. I remember, through a hazy splash of days, seeing them go from being young and vigorous to becoming gradually emaciated and ultimately deceased. If they only had your kind of courage and determination, so eloquently expressed in your poem.

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    1. Thank you for sharing that. Those are such difficult losses to understand. I don’t typically think of myself as courageous. The gift I was given was in having some of the most incredible people open their hearts and lives to me. Determined?- yes, I am absoluetly a determined woman.

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  22. Thats good, your blog is cool, i like it. Thanks for the efforts my friend.

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    1. You is smart. You is kind. You is important. Did you see the movie The Help? This is what one of the maids told her little charge. What a wonderful way for someone to answer those questions we all have inside.
      I’ve been a binge eater since age 13- decades and decades. It’s definitely my
      drug of choice. I’m low carbing now and the cravings are diminishing…it’s great to feel a bit in control, for a change, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are doing great!! So glad I found you and your blog!

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      1. I am trying to do low carb. It is definitely a challenge. I have had several drugs of choice and have overcome them all but food remains the constant. I understand waiting on the other shoe to drop. Just found out this morning that the group we are training today was taking us to lunch. Italian restaurant and they ordered all kinds of appetizers. Nothing there is under 900-1000 calories. Made good choices but it’s hard.
        I did see The HELP and love that you shared that line here. Thanks for your support. I would love to hear from you about your journey as well.
        Cathy

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  23. Very intriguing blog. Im happy I checked it out….will follow.

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