I have been thinking about what to write for the YeahWrite blog this week. April 11, I celebrate 25 years being clean and sober. I am sober today “through the Grace of God and the program and fellowship of my twelve step program.” It is a day of mixed emotions-gratitude for a second chance at life, love for family and friends, a sense of peace and serenity, and grieving the loss of friends not here to celebrate these things.
I thought I would write a beautiful, touching, inspirational blog. Those never come out quite the way you imagine. About ten years ago, I wrote a poem; something I rarely do. I submitted it to a recovery journal and they published it that April. I decided to simply share that with you today.
A Gift to Give Away
I came to you with head held low.
I came to you no place to go.
I came to you when I had no hope.
I came to you when I couldn’t cope.
I came to you with fear and pain.
I came to you not sure I was sane.
I came when all I could do was cry.
I came to you when I wanted to die.
You looked at me and at once I knew
That what you said to me was true.
You knew the fear I had inside
You knew how much I wanted to hide.
You told me I would be OK.
You told me to live just for today.
You said there was a lot to do
But you would help me see it through.
I had to find a power greater than me
If I wanted to learn to live and be free.
I did not always do it right
But I kept trying with all my might.
One day I laughed and then I found
I really rather liked the sound.
I loved the thought of being alive
And knew somehow I could survive.
You told me that now I had to share,
I had to start to love and care.
I had to share this peace I knew
And let others know they could find it, too.
She came to me with eyes that were dead.
“This will not work for me” she said.
I smiled and said “just give it try”
She looked at me and asked me “why?”
Because I once felt the same as you
And I know what you are going through.
I was given a gift to give away
And so I give it to you today.
Do with this gift whatever you choose,
Take a chance, what have you got to lose?