No, I am not a “hater.” I just don’t like Valentine’s Day. How is it that someone who is a devoted chocolate lover would not love a day devoted to chocolate? Truth is the chocolate on Valentine’s Day is usually a box of candy. I am not a big candy person and I really only like about 2 or 3 of the types of candy in the box. Brownies might just convince me .
So the definitive question is Why? Why don’t I love Valentine’s Day? If you look at the origin of the day, it was either a day to commemorate a martyred Saint or to turn a pagan festival into something Christian. Weird, huh? You don’t even get the day off work. I don’t consider that a real holiday.
I remember being in school as a young girl. You may find this hard to believe but I was not a popular kid. I didn’t really have any friends in school until third grade. We moved into our new house when I was seven. Carol, who was five then, lived just around the corner. She has been my true BFF ever since. But I was very shy, timid, chubby, etc. You know the old saying. “you are ugly and your Mama dresses you funny?” That fit me. I felt ugly and different. My grandmother liked to make my clothes and they weren’t what you would call fashionable.
When Valentine’s Day came along we would all spend the day before drawing and gluing various items on a brown bag. We would put our name on the bag and place it on a table. The next day everyone would come in and put valentines in the bags. Some bags were filled to overflowing with cute cards and sometimes even candy hearts and red hots. My bag only had a couple of cards.
The next year they made a rule that everyone had to give everyone a card. I did get my bag filled that year. But I got a lot of the cards that had elephants, monkeys, or something like that. As I pulled them out, there were laughs from classmates. A few had hurtful comments on them. I threw them away before I got home.
I was slow to date. I had some really bad experiences along the way. I went to college, met a senior, and eloped after knowing him for six weeks. The next seventeen years didn’t produce one Valentine’s Day that had any good memories. There would be two relationships that did offer some wonderful memories. Both ended with a broken heart and lots of tears.
Now let me say that I am married to a very sweet man. He has always made sure to bring me a flower and a sweet card. We have been married for almost 5 years. The last three have been very difficult on him and his health. So we choose to let Valentine’s Day slip by without notice.
I have friends who say the holiday was created by the card and flower companies to increase sales in the lull between Christmas and Mother’s Day. I think it was created by men. They are more likely to get laid on Valentine’s Day and their birthday than any other time. Just an opinion…mind you.
Truth is I still believe in fairy tales and happy endings. I know people who have found real love and made it last. My step daughter Erica is getting married in August. I think she is one of those people. I love hearing her talk about her fiance’ and hearing the way he talks about her and how they care for each other.
I told you about my BFF Carol. Today started with text from her. “Happy Valentine’s Day Girl–I love you.” This is a hard day for her. Her husband died in late February three years ago. They weren’t the most romantic couple I ever saw but they really did love each other. Her mother died just six weeks after Jimmy.
So that simple text this morning, made me smile and I felt such love coming from her. I even stopped at the store and got my husband a card and some candy. Go figure— Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.